For many people, the word “assertiveness” is a loaded one. We often associate assertiveness with aggression and therefore shy away from it; which can be a mistake. Assertiveness is actually about being balanced – not focusing entriely on your own interests (which is aggressive) and also not giving in to others (which is passive). Being able to acknowledge other people’s needs while also standing up for your own is something that eludes many people. Yet if you can do this, it will change your life.
And it’s simple to do! Once you master a few simple concepts, it “clicks into place” and becomes second nature. So in this article, we’re looking at six big ways that assertiveness training will help you. What’s not to like?
Knowing Where You Stand With Assertiveness
You may be surprised to learn that assertiveness training is not just for those who have passive or passive aggressive personalities. Although this training can very much help these types of people to take control, it can also balance more forthright characters.
Generally speaking, most people fall into one of three camps when it comes to asserting themselves and these are:
- Passive – This type of personality prefers to avoid confrontation to the point of negatively impacting their own career or life.
- Aggressive – The aggressive personality will often be manipulative and will pursue their own agenda. While they may not be physically or verbally aggressive, these personalities will make their presence felt and will often get their own way.
- Passive-aggressive – This common type of personality will appear passive but is often hiding inner turmoil. They will often spend a considerable amount of time stewing on what they should have or would have liked to have said or done. Because they don’t give many outside signs, they’re often difficult to spot.
Identifying which category you fall into can be illuminating but, more importantly, can help you to change your life.
How Assertiveness Training Will Change Your Life
So here are the six major ways that assertiveness training can transform your life.
1. Decision Making
In every aspect of our lives, we’re constantly making decisions – but they’re not always the right ones. Our level of assertiveness very much has an impact on our decision making as it speaks to consequences and possible confrontation. Assertiveness training helps here by informing your decision making in terms of your real perception of the right thing to do. As a result, you will spend less time regretting making decisions fueled by fear or coloured by what other people may think of you.
2. Confidence Building
Assertiveness is, of course, all about confidence and the two generally tend to go hand in hand. Alarmingly, around 46% of Brits feel that they lack self-confidence and, assertiveness training can help boost self-esteem and make you more confident in making decisions and standing your ground.
3. Improving Relationships
If your personality is overly assertive or too meek it can colour your relationships with colleagues, friends and family – even though you may not be aware of it. While we’re not suggesting that you change your character completely, assertiveness training can act as a reset for this one aspect of your life and make your relationships more honest and equal.
4. Setting Boundaries
Those with passive personalities will often find themselves being taken advantage of by others which can lead to resentment and stress. Being more assertive means you will know how to set soft and hard boundaries at work and in your personal life … and therefore protect yourself. Setting boundaries for others is essential in helping you to gain respect and fair treatment.
5. Empowerment
Nobody likes to feel that they don’t have control over their own lives – but this is often the case when a lack of assertiveness is in play. A big part of assertiveness training is in helping you to regain your power and a more positive self-image through understanding and subtle changes in behaviour.
6. Better Health
We’ve left the best till last! Investing in our personal assertiveness can have a really positive impact on our mental and physical health including:
- Reducing stress which subsequently reduces the risk of stress related illness such as heart problems and skin conditions
- Providing relief from the symptoms of depression by removing some of the triggers which are associated with assertiveness
- Providing relief from suffering from social anxiety through empowerment and self-confidence
- Helping with anger management – particularly for those with aggressive and passive-aggressive personalities
Our physical and mental health is constantly impacted by what happens to us and our relationships with others. Because of this, many mental health conditions are fueled by assertiveness issues. While assertiveness training is by no means a magic wand, it can help to remove the source of anger and anxiety in order to alleviate symptoms.
Rebooting Your Assertiveness Mindset
In an increasingly complex world, many people struggle to achieve their best selves due to self-doubt, fear and a lack of assertiveness. The good news is that, like a lot of parts of our psyche, it is possible to retrain our personalities and improve our quality of life. Assertiveness training can be a great first step in helping you to take back control of your life and empower others to do the same.
